The Line Has Been Crossed: Scientists at McDonald’s Create Bubblegum Flavored… Broccoli?

Yes, it has happened. How exciting, right? Not exactly. McD’s has finally done it – changed a vegetable on a genetic level. Well, that’s the only explanation for how it could be done, isn’t it?

Seeing as how McDonald’s chief executive Don Thompson has not disclosed the science behind their candy-land invention, we have to go on guess work.

So what exactly is it? It’s broccoli/bubblegum… stuff. Broccoli that tastes like like bubblegum. The tests, as you may expect, didn’t go so well. The McDonald’s researchers tested out their prototype on children, likely children who are used to being forced to eat wholesome broccoli by their parents. They know the taste of the green flower and know that they don’t like it.

This is why the kids were understandably confused when their broccoli didn’t taste like, well, broccoli. It in fact tasted like bubblegum, or that’s at least the flavor that the scientists were going for.

McDonald’s is attempting to change their “image,” it seems. Since their fast food competitors are light years ahead of them, McDonald’s has obviously started to feel the pressure. Restaurants like Chipotle are advertising their organic, local foods. Meanwhile, the home of the Big Mac still has… Big Macs, obesity-encouraging portion sizes, burgers made out of a substance that no one can seem to identify and sweet tea that is sweeter than the entire contents of a candy store…or so we have heard.

Fresh broccoli in closeupIt will take quite a bit more than changing the flavor of broccoli for McDonald’s to even be considered a viable choice for a meal. It is the fast-food joint of desperate people: the late-for-work Egg McMuffin guy, the marathon runner who NEEDS the calories or the college student vying for a cheap meal.

Do not become one of those people. Make an effort to eat better. Make an effort to avoid McDonald’s. They may be “trying” to make healthier meals, but McDonalds is McDonalds and they’re not making any big changes quickly.

Oh, and don’t go looking for that broccoli – It didn’t pass testing. Why bubblegum, anyways? Broccoli tastes great on its own, especially if you add a little culinary flair.

-The Alternative Daily


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