Are You a Buzzkill? Plus What to do About It

A buzzkill is someone that spoils an otherwise enjoyable event, bringing others down with irritating or annoying comments or actions.

All of us have probably encountered these “downers” who often have nothing nice to say, ruining the mood for all around them. Some people may be so ingrained in their negative habits that they don’t even realize that they are a buzzkill? Are you one of them?

There are a few common symptoms that can help clue you in.

Do people avoid you? If you find that other people try to change the conversation when you’re around or have even come right out and asked you to stop with the nasty remarks but your behavior continues, your friends and acquaintances are likely to start avoiding you. You may not notice it at first, but if you find that you’re constantly shifting your group of friends it may mean that people don’t enjoy being around you.

Does everyone else seem extremely positive? If you’ve wondered why everyone around you seems especially positive, it could be that it’s because you’re on the opposite end of the spectrum.

Are your suggestions ignored? If you tend to nix everyone else’s suggestions because you always find something irritating about them, your friends are likely to start ignoring yours. They may even hope that you’ll decide not to join them at all.

Some people actually fear being joyful. There is even a name for the condition: hedonophobia. The word comes from the Greek term “hedone,” which means pleasure or delight, and “phobia” which means fear.

There are numerous causes for this, generally involving the atmosphere in which you grew up, but the most important thing to know is that you can choose to change.

If you don’t want to be a buzzkill, consider these tips for remedying the situation.

  • Create a list
  • Make a list of everything that you enjoy, from small pleasures to big ones. There must be at least a few things. It could even be eating a delicious meal or dessert. Post the list somewhere you can see it frequently and try to focus on the best things in life to remind yourself to be more joyful. Say “yes” to more joyful moments in life.
  • Take a moment before speaking
  • Sarcastic remarks can be funny occasionally, but sometimes they aren’t really humorous at all. Are your comments truly funny or are they hurting someone? Pay attention to the look on someone’s face after you make a comment like that. Sometimes things are better left unsaid. Think about it first and stop yourself before you say something that may be offensive or hurtful.
  • Feeling negative?
  • Don’t forget that a bad mood can quickly spread, just as a good one has the ability to make others smile. If you’re feeling negative or grumpy, try to focus on those things that make you joyful so that you don’t spread that nastiness around. You might also try to focus on the good aspects of what might be waiting for you – chances are it will boost your mood, making it more enjoyable for you as well as your friends.
  • Avoid things that put you in a bad mood
  • Because alcohol is a depressant, for many people, drinking can quickly bring down their mood. If you notice that it causes you to become angry or depressed, you should probably avoid drinking too much. If there are certain environments or people that bring you down, try to steer away from those, too.

buzzkillWhile no one expects you to be in a good mood all of the time, being a constant buzzkill has a way of negatively affecting the quality of your life, emotionally and physically. People who have a good social network of friends have been found to live longer. Having friends can reduce stress, ward off depression and even fight illness.

-The Alternative Daily


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