The stereotype of men is that they almost always fall asleep first after sex. However, recent research shows that while this may be a stereotype, it is largely a fallacy when it comes to real life between couples.
The Need for Bonding
Falling asleep after sex is normal. Often, it is an indication of satisfaction with sexual activity and the result of exhaustion and hormones that induce the need for rest and relaxation.
However, both men and women see post-sexual conversations as an opportunity to talk about their future and validate feelings of love and commitment. In couples who are not pair bonded, a lack of desire for commitment may unconsciously take the form of falling asleep fairly quickly after sexual activity.
However, for couples who are pair bonded or who have an interest in relationship commitment, bonding is validated and deepens after sex. From a psychological standpoint, both partners validate their needs in the relationship and receive affirmation in the talk and interplay that occurs after sexual activity.
Sleep Patterns Among Genders
Interestingly, research into gender differences in sleep patterns after sex indicates that the stereotype of men falling asleep immediately after sex is a myth. In a study published in the Journal of Social, Evolutionary and Cultural Psychology, researchers found that men most frequently fall asleep sooner than their female partners when there is no sexual activity and there is no difference between men and women in terms of when they fall asleep after intercourse.
Researchers also found that oxytocin levels are elevated in both men and women after intercourse. Oxytocin is a hormone that encourages bonding between couples and rises during the initial stages of a relationship. However, frequent and regular sexual activity between a couple maintains feelings of commitment and affection. Oxytocin also regulates a wide variety of neurological functions, including sleep. Since it increases with sexual activity, it can be a contributing factor in the onset of sleep afterward.
Although stereotypes about men and sex abound, not all of them are true. As it turns out, men do not actually go to sleep first after sex; both men and women tend to fall asleep afterward at the same levels. Even without sexual activity, women tend to fall asleep sooner than men, debunking the stereotype all together.
What have you seen in your relationships? Which partner tends to fall asleep first? Let us know in the comments.
– The Alternative Daily
