An urgency to get to your destination could mean ignoring your urgency to pee. But you’re only human, so that may not always be possible. What choice do you have when nature calls? Well, apart from surgically implanting a larger bladder, you do have other options. But they require a steady hand while still maintaining concentration on the road. What am I talking about? Keep reading, I’ll tell you!
Safety first!
First, there’s no point in peeing while you drive if it means crashing your vehicle, with your pants around your ankles — although that could make for some interesting talk around the next holiday table. Still, it’s not worth risking your life (or anyone else’s) to pee in the car while driving. If you can legally and safely do it, exit, pull over and tinkle on the side of the road. However, don’t pull your vehicle onto the shoulder of a major freeway or highway to pee.
Whether you’re a male or female, there is a discreet way to pee beside your car if traffic whizzes by. Simply, open the front passenger door and the rear passenger door for privacy. Then stand between the two and drop your drawers. However, if you’re sharing the drive with your sweet old aunty, ask her politely to turn her head. No one needs to see that.
Handheld urinals for men
I get it. There are times when you’re stuck in traffic or running late and absolutely cannot pull over. It’s these moments that require a little more ingenuity, which is where handheld urinals come in. When it comes to urinary devices, there are plenty on the market for both men and women.
For men, there are reasonably-priced urinals available with pronounced neck angles that help confine pee, when held correctly. But those could pose a risk or create spillage when driving. Instead, a better option includes a urinal system that comes equipped with a large sealed collection bag and a one-way valve. They also have a long hose and a urinal piece that easily fits over the penis. Look for models with a padded ring around the urinal, similar to what you’d find on a condom for added comfort and a better seal.
Body-worn urinal for men
One step above a handheld urinal is a body-worn urinal. Yes, you might feel like an incontinent old man attaching it to your penis, but they’re actually quite discreet. They also provide a sense of freedom and don’t require you to carry around a jug of urine in your vehicle. Scuba divers may be familiar with these devices.
Here’s how it works: The urine collection bag is generally strapped to the inside of the calf. Tubing connects to the bag and then runs up the inside of leg connecting to a male external catheter. The catheter is basically a condom. But unlike a condom, it’s intended for a relaxed fit and is lined to secure a proper seal.
As mentioned, these are pretty discreet. So, no one in your vehicle will even know you’re wearing one. When you arrive at your destination, simply empty it, give it a rinse and store for your next road trip.
Handheld urinals for women
Female urinals allow women to urinate anywhere and everywhere. Generally made from medical-grade materials, female urinals are clean, portable and great for long road trips. “Stand and go” urinals don’t store urine. They’re designed to be flexible, soft and spill-proof. But, no, you can’t really use them while sitting in a car. These are designed to give you the freedom to pee standing up rather than sitting or squatting.
Ladies: if you’re a passenger, try peeing this way…
I’ll admit, for women, urinating in a car is far more difficult. If you’re in the passenger seat, pull your car seat forward. Then climb into the back seat, if possible. Obviously, the design of some cars or trucks makes this almost impossible. So, it may require a little deft maneuvering to get there — you don’t want to kick the driver in the head!
Better yet, have the driver pull over and then jump in the back. Once there, you can sit in the back seat with your chosen urinary device. You may prefer to squat on the floor between the front seat and the back seat.
Don’t want to spend money? Make your own
If you don’t want to spend money on a urinary device, you can create one yourself. How about using a Ziplock bag? One gallon-size, freezer bags provide a can’t-miss target area for both men and women. You can also use a funnel with a tapered, flexible spout that directs urine into a jug or bottle.
Adult diaper anyone?
Yes, wearing adult diapers is another option for anyone who wants to avoid bathroom breaks when driving. You might recall a story about a NASA astronaut who was arrested after driving hundreds of miles to confront a romantic rival. Apparently, she drove 950 miles from Houston to Orlando wearing an adult diaper, normally used in space, to avoid making stops.
I hear they’re also quite popular in casinos for those who refuse to leave their slot machine…
One last thing
Even before you get into the car to start your journey, make sure to grab an empty bag, toilet paper, baby wipes and of course something to urinate in. I’m not a fan of urinating in bottles or fast food cups — too flimsy with a likelihood of disaster. Truthfully, adult incontinence products are inexpensive, highly effective, comfortable, hygienic and don’t require much thought.
Look, if you can pee in a little cup at the doctor’s office, then chances are you can pee in your vehicle. All it takes is a few supplies, a little know-how and perhaps a little hand-eye coordination. Happy peeing!
— Katherine Marko
